Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
