sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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