help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
