It's like God shit irony all over that family
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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