I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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