I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think people are normalizing furries
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
