Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.

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(708): View more from Illinois

blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes

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(760): View more from California

The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children

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(260): View more from Indiana

Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?

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