Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
