Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
