I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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