so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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