Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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