whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
