Taylor Swift is so right about you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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