I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
