and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
