found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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