His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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