Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
