He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
