Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
