Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
