is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
