you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
