how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
