i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
