I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
