I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
