I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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