It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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