Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Don't make out with my wife yet
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
