i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
