I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
