I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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