Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
