What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
