She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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