If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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