BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
is that a dick in a sweater?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
