You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
