Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
