They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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