Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
