Actions speak louder than pants.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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