Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Too much gin, very little bucket
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
