I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
