i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
