The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
