Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
