the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
