Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
