I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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