What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I forget how to act sober
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