so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
