I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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