The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
