we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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