What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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