do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
